Friday, January 12, 2007
more.
things are so crazy here now. this morning i not only got a call about my sweet baby niece, but i also received another call from our caseworker. something's happened with one of the adoptive homes they had & they are having to close it up (as in, move the kids & revoke their license). this home had4 brothers - 8, 5 and 3 yr old twins. she laughed when i said, "i beg your pardon ... i thought i heard you say FOUR." she said she wouldn't have called if she didn't think we were up for it, but to take the weekend and she would have more information for us early next week. my initial reaction? four is too many. going from zero to two i think would be hard, but zero to four is ludicris. but i am praying, and brian is praying (although he is already gung-ho). the little bit of me that is practical is thinking - four teenage boys. four college tuitions. a bigger car. outrageous grocery bills. my one brother alone ate a box or more of cereal per day from the time he was 10 until... well, he probably still does. then there are other things like -- can i physically take care of 4 children. can i emotionally take care of 4 children. or rather, can WE.
something we've both learned through this whole adoption experience is what a leap of faith it is. we honestly don't know from one day to the next how many children we might end up having, at least at this point. we're hoping that we know what we can handle, manage, and support, but we probably don't. we're living with blind faith at this point, knowing that God is working wonders in our life that we don't even know about right now. something that is difficult for me to handle right now is how can we possibly say yes to some children and no to others? do i reject four blessings because i'd rather just have two or is that i think i can only handle having two children? these are questions that i'm not sure about. bri is so much stronger than i am. he doesn't hesitate when he hears four. when i said that one thing that concerned is what if we get these boys and i suddenly find myself able to have a baby(which is not likely to happen, but you know, i'm just playing the what-if game i love so much)? he just said, "well then i hope she's a girl." he is, without a doubt, unwavering in what he knows and trusts.
i have to say that when i heard "twins" i'm sure i said yes. multiples is what i dearly want. brian's family is full of multiples, and i myself was a twin in the womb. what i wasn't really expecting were the other two :o)
throughout all of this, i am relying on God and that is a wonderful thing. our families have been so supportive and so many people are praying for us. i say this often, i know, but please continue to do so. there is much we have to learn.
something we've both learned through this whole adoption experience is what a leap of faith it is. we honestly don't know from one day to the next how many children we might end up having, at least at this point. we're hoping that we know what we can handle, manage, and support, but we probably don't. we're living with blind faith at this point, knowing that God is working wonders in our life that we don't even know about right now. something that is difficult for me to handle right now is how can we possibly say yes to some children and no to others? do i reject four blessings because i'd rather just have two or is that i think i can only handle having two children? these are questions that i'm not sure about. bri is so much stronger than i am. he doesn't hesitate when he hears four. when i said that one thing that concerned is what if we get these boys and i suddenly find myself able to have a baby(which is not likely to happen, but you know, i'm just playing the what-if game i love so much)? he just said, "well then i hope she's a girl." he is, without a doubt, unwavering in what he knows and trusts.
i have to say that when i heard "twins" i'm sure i said yes. multiples is what i dearly want. brian's family is full of multiples, and i myself was a twin in the womb. what i wasn't really expecting were the other two :o)
throughout all of this, i am relying on God and that is a wonderful thing. our families have been so supportive and so many people are praying for us. i say this often, i know, but please continue to do so. there is much we have to learn.
# posted by Sary : 3:26 PM
